I have been preaching since I was 15 years old, been pastoring since I was 22, been to more conferences than I can remember ... no one talked about it ... not even me.

It’s time we start talking about the silent killer in homes, the overlooked but very truthful injustice. People are being abused and are abusing. It’s violence of the worst kind: one done by people you know and love.

What is this insidious killer that is affecting 1 out of 4 women and 1 out of 7 men? Domestic Violence.

Some are experiencing it in church leadership and they feel like they can’t say anything because it will shame the church! The devil is a liar! Christ bore the shame at the cross openly. It’s only shame when it’s allowed to fester in secret and silence.

Secrecy is the true shame of the church! “We got to keep it quiet or it’ll ruin the church,” is the common verbiage. The devil is a liar! There is NO ROOM in the church for violence especially when it’s happening in the sanctity of the home. (That’s a hardline I’m willing to stand on.)

Every pastor or church leader that is abusing his spouse or children should step down until the spirit of violence is cast out from their home. A man or a woman should not teach others how to treat the Bride of Christ properly when they’re beating their spouse privately. And stress is no reason for anyone to bully their spouse or children and mentally, financially, sexually, and physically abuse them.

Church leader, pastor, bishop, apostle—whoever you are: Stop hiding behind the pulpit. Confess your sin and find help. God is not mocked! You can only truly honor God, if you honor your spouse. If the ministry is stretching and stressing you out and you are lashing out on your FIRST CHURCH—your family—then you need to follow the old adage: If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.  Your family is worth it.

“Well,” you may say, “I’ve got to put God first.” Brother, we cannot speak about the love of God if we’re not pursuing it in our homes first. If God gave His life for His Bride—the Church, then you can give up the church for your bride. That’s right: Better lose your church than your wife.

God is not pleased with violence! Please consider that God gave up His eternal throne for His Bride so that you don’t have to lose your bride for a temporal throne.

And brother/sister, do not put up with abuse anymore. It’s only shameful if it’s in secret. Acting like nothing is wrong when your whole world is burning up and being destroyed is not from the Lord! It’s the work of our adversary. Jesus said that the devil seeks to kill, steal and destroy. If you’re trying to cover for your husband or wife because he or she has a ministry, don’t. No one that beats his wife or children is deserving of a ministry. (Is it right to hear the kindness of God from a person who does not exhibit kindness at home?) A man should not serve the table of God if he is abusing a child of God!

There is hope! Whether abused or abuser, Jesus can restore and mend the broken. Hallelujah.