The Illusion of Perfection And The Silencing of Victims
Church is the place where people are healed not victimized. Yet, there are hurting people everywhere who were victimized by leaders and people of authority in our Churches.
Why? Because perfection has become the standard instead of God’s grace. And when perfection becomes the standard, people in authority will abuse their power and unsuspecting people will become the casualties.
We have protected the perpetrators instead of healed and recovered the victim. We have covered the weaknesses of leaders because we love the illusion of perfection over the healing of people. And over time these victimizers felt safe to abuse because they can see that the illusion of perfection is more important than their repentance and the restoration of victims.
When perfection instead of grace become our standard, those in authority will become abusers and a culture of shutting down the voices of victims become prevalent. When we act like our leaders no longer need grace and we protect and cover their weaknesses because we pursue the illusion of perfection instead of the healing of victims, we get churches and leaders who cover sin instead of rebuking it
And it’s not just large churches. It’s small ones, too. In fact, the small ones go unchecked because they operate almost anonymously.
The truth is if grace is our go-to and if we lean on Jesus more than our sacraments and churchiness, we’d recognize that we need the same grace that brought salvation to us then now. It’s not that we’ve become faultless over time, it’s that grace has been on our lives over those times. In fact, it’s the rejection of that grace that allows us to fail, giving us a glance of what we truly would look and live like without it. Without grace, there will be victims.
Some at say “It’s because the modern church is looking to appeal to the world,” yet I’ve seen and heard those “in the Word” churches do so much harm to people not because they preach a solid word but because in their stance “against sin” they have to protect the frailty of their leaders.
And when protection becomes greater than restoration, the church will be a haven of victimizers and a culture of silencing victims becomes the norm.
So it’s time for us to expose the victimizers … but not the way we may think. It’s time for us to run back to the grace of God, to uncover the simple fact: we are sinners saved and kept by grace. We all are in need of God’s grace. Acknowledging that leads to repentance instead of a cover up. Let’s acknowledge what leads to a cover up? Our desire to appear perfect when we’re not.
Whether 30 minutes or 30 years, we are in need of God’s unending and ever sufficient grace. The moment we forget that is the moment we’ll realize who we really are without it.
It’s time for those of us that have been hurt by leaders to acknowledge that those leaders became that because of God’s grace nothing apart from it. If we’ve been hurt, it’s because they were flawed. The hurt is not okay, but the flaws are part of thier humanity—part of their need for God’s grace also. Forgiving them embraces our acknowledgement of the need for God’s grace in our lives as well as theirs.
And it’s time to make the church the safe haven of the victims again. To let them know that there is victory even in their agony. That God is a healer for them and He is a lover of them. He is their protector and shield. And He can turn hurt into healing and their brokenness into power. One Word from God and the lost hope can be restored and recovered.
The victim can be a victor … by God’s grace.
