The Meandering of Life And The Missing Peace

Life’s not going to be perfect. There will be disappointments. Relationships that are tenuous. People who we feel should be closer are distant, connections that we feel should be stronger nonexistent.

There will be conversations we wish we can have with certain people that may never happen. A tightness in love, moments of forgiveness, times of restoration and healing that you think about and wish you can have can just be prayers and daydreams.

Sometimes it just feels like life should be more, that certain things should be better, that everyone should just flow within their given roles perfectly.

Unfortunately. life can be a jagged mess. Some of it will never be what we think it should be or could be. From family to friendships, life can be tough to negotiate. From parents to our spouse to our children, sometimes words and inaction or events can create wedges that you wish you can take back or redo and yet they’re just that—only a dream, a hope for better.

In our minds, sometimes we create scenarios that bring those moments of distance to close. Thoughts of reconciliation or even just forgiveness and reconnection. Unfortunately, people have their own ways of thinking. Pride can get in the way of healing and the joy that can be shared is forfeited because of egos.

And unfortunately, relationships are two way streets. What you wish can be resolved may not be what the other wishes. While you want to draw near, that other person maybe alright that they’re afar. While you desire relationship of a deeper sort, they’re sufficed that you’re now just acquaintances.

Our minds are mostly clouded by the past. Wishes that things were different, hopes that people’s attitude would just change, a wish that you can be better or that the other person would just be understanding swirl around our thoughts some times loudly. Sadness can fill our hearts from the wish that things ended up better. Bitterness can mar our hearts because wrongs were never righted and words were never taken back.

And so we pray.

We pray that God would take charge. We pray that He can give us the grace to lay everything at His feet and to know—as an assurance—that He is God.

And we study His word.

We study to see what life can be and what our posture should be in cases of imperfection and wrongs. We study to know His plans so we can find comfort in all of it.

Life in fullness is not living in perfection. Because we weave in and out within humanity, it’ll never be “perfect. Why? Because we, all of us, are imperfect.

Those down moments, those times of reflections, those hopes and wishes for more are all part of living. Without them would we really be alive? Without those mistakes, without those “takebacksies” would we really be experiencing life?

There are wars both small and great. Battles fought from infancy to the grave. Tears that flow from joy, and tears that flow from anger, resentment or regret. It all makes life what it is.

The noise in our minds let’s as know that we are alive. Experiences whether good or bad let’s us know we engaged. Broken relationships and solid ones let’s us know we are navigating life. Friendships that were or had been allows us to know that we connected—we mattered and we loved.

Ultimately we can’t go backwards. We can’t undo, or redo. We can’t take back words made in moments of anger, hurt, or fears. We can’t unyell the words back. We can’t unhurt the people we’ve hurt; and we can only heal from the hurts we’ve experienced.

Ultimately, we can only move forward. We can only take steps for the “next time”.

The real beautify of living is not a retake but the learning. What happened yesterday that you can’t take back, you can learn from for tomorrow. What errors you think someone made against you, can be a pivot point for you to be better to others and even to yourself—given that you get another chance.

And there’s always that: another chance. That is what God offers in Christ, a second chance.

God is the God of second chances. When we surrender our minds and hearts to Him, the second chance may be given though a form of healing by person to person conversation with the one or the ones that you were once distanced. Jesus said that if you have an issue with someone, leave your gift at the altar and have that conversation with your brother before making that sacrifice.

God desires reconciliation for us. Before we even pray, God desires for us to work the work of reconciliation. In fact He is the God of reconciliation.

So make that phone call. Invite that someone or those “someones” to dinner for a conversation, a resetting, a clearing of sorts. Tell them you love them and you care about them. (And don’t say you don’t care because why would they be in your heart and mind right now?) So do the work of a reconciler. Make paths for second chances by doing the leading role of a reconciler.

Don’t speak of what should have been more than you speak of your love and desire for them as family, as friends, even as partners. It’s a courageous work. It will take guts to open dialogue that is needed or wanting.

And, no, no one has to apologize or to recognize their wrongs. (Certainly, it’s not for you to tell others how you were right.) The past is the past. What has been done has been done, what was said was said. The art of reconciliation is the heart of forgiveness for a desire to express love and acceptance. Reconciliation is not about making things right. (Some mistakes can’t be righted.) It’s about making amends.

But sometimes second chances like these can never happen because it always at least takes two. And sometimes our chance for this type of reconciliation can be gone because that person has moved on or have passed. So you can be left holding regrets, but that’s when the miracle of God’s healing can occur. What can be a huge weight in your heart can be lifted. He gives us a chance to forgive others and even ourselves in His Presence. He can heal us by the power of His assurance. He gives us the grace to rest it on Him by giving us the faith to believe that He will or has taken cared of it.

Jesus said, “Come unto me all you who are weary and are heavy laden.” He said, “Take my yoke upon you and learn of me,” He continued, “for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” What does it all mean? For me it means that God’s work has done the work for our “do-overs”. He’s put in the act or recovery and of restitution. He has taken all our hurts and fears, our wounds and our brokenness, and carried them on the cross. And by His death and suffering, by trusting in His work, we can find peace.

That’s it right? We want peace.

All we are seeking when we don’t have or are not given the chance to make things better, is mental peace. We want those memories and thoughts that swirl in our minds to find their places of rest. We want the hurricane that swirl and blow and damage our peace to find it’s calm. This—this is what we find when we place our hopes and dreams and desires into the hands of God: an assurance, a comfort, a rest—a peace.

A peace that lets us know whatever it is that has happened happened and it’s turning for our good. The mistakes, the loss of love, the distancing of friends and family, they all will work together for our good—and their good as well. That those things that weigh us down God will use to raise us up. And, if we can trust Him: He will take those lost moments and give them meaning.

With Christ on our side we can have the chance, the second or third or fourth chances, to have that mental peace, but He will lead us to work the work of reconciliation. He will give us the courage to have conversations for our peace. The conversation doesn’t have to end perfectly. Resolutions don’t have to end up with what we hope is the best. When we rest our life in Jesus, we take life as it comes and now how we think it should be. We know that He will work it out. In the end, we will have peace.

if you’re suffering for lack of peace, why not considering a solution: let the God of peace give you rest today. Speak to Him in your mind these words:

Lord, I give you my anguish. Lord, I give me you my wishlist. Whatever I hope life should be, I rest it in Your hands. Give me the grace to trust You with all of it. I receive Your peace for my sorrow. I receive your peace for my worry. I receive Your peace for my hopes and my hurts. Give me the faith to believe that whatever You did at the cross of Calvary, You did it for my peace. Give me the faith to believe that You rose from the dead three days later. In that victory, help me to trust that I can take part in it. That I am victorious because You have been victorious even over death. I receive Your grace for my piece of that resurrection by experiencing peace. In Jesus Name. Amen.